I am struggling! I don’t know if anyone reads this and it really doesn’t matter. I am so alone! Yes I have people around me one wonderful man that even though we are just friends he takes care of me. The other I’m trying I really am. I know he is going through things but that doesn’t mean you have to be mean. But that is not my point of this blog today. The point I want to try to get across is how do you be happy? I didn’t choose to lose all my independence, I didn’t choose to be this way! I am struggling with that so much right now. How do you not feel like a burden? How do you manage the basic functions and not bother anyone? Because that is what happened today it’s hard enough dealing with the fact that I have to ask someone to help me go to the bathroom but to be told that I do it on purpose I don’t know how to deal with that. It’sa body function I can’t just go on demand and to be told why didn’t you go an hour ago well I’m sorry but it didn’t hit me till just now. But again n not the point I’m trying to go after her. Tell me someone enlighten me please I don’t like feeling like a burden to everyone. I feel so completely awful and I don’t know how to fix it. I truly try my best to do things on my own but there are just some things that I can’t…I just can’t… and I don’t know how to deal with it!!!! I feel sad all the time… yes there are times when I’m not but they are few and far in between. I want to be happy but it’s been 7 damn years and I just feel like everyone’s lives would be better without me around!
